Mr. Fix-and-Finish

 16. Mr. Fix-and-Finish (Herr Fix und Fertig)

Fix-and-Finish had been a soldier for a long time, but because the war was over and there was nothing more to do than the same thing every day, he took his leave and wanted to become a footman for a great gentleman. There were clothes trimmed with gold, a lot to do, and always something new. So he set off and came to a strange court, where he saw a gentleman walking in the garden. Fix-and-Finish didn't think twice, but stepped up to him and said, "Sir, I'm looking for a job with a great gentleman. it's Yours. If your Majesty is like that, I can do it. I know everything that goes with it, and can do it as ordered."

The lord replied, "Alright, my son, I'd like that. Tell me what's my desire right now?"

Fix-and-Finish without answering turned around hurriedly, and came back with a pipe and tobacco.

"That's right, my son. You're now my servant, but now I'll give you the job of finding Princess Nomini for me, as she is the most beautiful woman in the world, and I want her for my wife."

"That's a simple task for me, and you'll soon have her. Give me only a carriage drawn by six horses, a coachman, guards, runners, lackeys, and a cook in complete states. I need princely clothes for myself, and everyone must obey my commands."

Well, they drove off, the servant sat in the carriage and went to the royal court where the beautiful princess was. When the road ended, they drove into the field and soon came to a large forest that was full of many thousands of birds. There was loud singing, which sounded magnificent in the blue air.

"Stop! Stop!" shouted Fix-and-Finish. "Don't disturb the birds! They praise their creator and will serve me someday. Turn left!”

So the coachman had to turn around and drive around the forest. After that it wasn't long before they came to a large field where about a thousand million ravens were sitting, crying loudly for food.

"Stop! Stop!" cried Fix-and-Finish. "Untie one of the horses in front, lead it into the field, and stab it to death so that the ravens are fed. They shall not suffer from hunger because of me."

After the ravens had their fill, the journey continued and they came to a body of water in which there was a fish, which lamented pitifully, “For God's sake! I have no food in this poor swamp. Place me in running water, and I will serve you someday."

Before he had even finished talking, Fix-and-Finish cried, "Cook, put him in your apron. Coachman, drive to the river."

Fix-and-Finish himself got out and the fish into the river, and the fish wagged its tail with joy. Then Mr. Fix-and-Finish said, "Now let the horses run quickly so that we can still be to the place by evening."

When he arrived at the royal residence he drove straight to the best inn, and the innkeeper and all his people came out, received him in the best way, and thought that a foreign king had arrived, even though he was only a gentleman's servant. Fix-and-Finish was immediately registered at the royal court, where he tried to make himself popular, and asked for the princess.

"My son," said the king, "Many suitors like you have already been turned away because nobody could do what I had asked them to do to win my daughter."

"All right," said Fix-and-Finish, "Give me a task."

So the king said, "I have had a quarter measure of poppy seeds sown. Can you bring them back for me so that not a single grain is missing? If so, you shall have the princess for your bride."

"That's a simple task for me," said Fix-and-Finish. Then he took a measuring tool, a sack, and snow-white cloths, and went out and spread the cloths beside the sown field. It wasn't long before the birds, which had not been disturbed in their singing in the forest, came and picked up the seeds, grain by grain, and carried them to the white cloths. When they had picked everything up, Fix-and-Finish threw all the grains into the sack, took the measuring tool under his arm, went to the king, and measured out the seeds. Now he thought the princess was his – but not yet.

"One more thing, my son," said the king. "My daughter lost her golden ring, and you must first get it back for me before you can have her."

"Majesty, just show me the river and the bridge where the ring was lost, and it shall soon be brought back."

When he got there, he looked down, and the fish that he had put into the river on his journey swam up, stretched its head out of the water, and said, "Wait a few minutes, and I will go down. A whale has the ring under its fin, and I'll get it."

He soon came back and threw it ashore. Fix-and-Finish brought it to the king, who said, "Now one more task. In the forest there is a unicorn, which has already done a lot of damage. If you can kill it, then there will be no more tasks."

Fix-and-Finish did not worry much, and went straight into the forest. There were the ravens which he had fed, and they said to him, "Be patient for a little while. The unicorn is lying down and sleeping, but not on the side where it can see. When it turns over we will peck out the one good eye it has. Then it will be blind and in its rage run against the trees which it will impale with its horn. Then it will be trapped and you can easily kill it."

Soon the animal rolled over a few times in its sleep and lay on its other side, and the ravens flew down and pecked out its good eye. As soon as it felt the pain, it jumped up and ran madly about in the forest, and soon it was stuck in a thick oak tree. So Fix-and-Finish sprang up, cut off his head, and brought it to the king, could no longer deny him his daughter. She was handed over to Fix-and-Finish, who immediately in full dress, as he had come, sat in the carriage with her, drove to his master, and brought him the loving princess. There he was well received, and the wedding was held in all splendor. And that's how Fix-and-Finish became the prime minister.

Everyone in the company where this story was told also wished to be at the party. One wanted to be a maid, one a cloakroom maid, one a valet, one a cook, etc.

My Notes

• This story only appeared in the original 1812 edition of the Grimms' collection and was removed from later editions.